Blended Family Dynamics – It’s really frustrating when everyone tries to tell you how your family should function? It can make me feel guilty sometimes thinking that I am not doing it right. So are they right?
Family dynamics can be hard and blended families are even more difficult. A lot of people have a specific idea of what a blended family should look like and how it should function, and they have no problem with telling you what they think. The problem is they are all telling you something different. So who is right and who is wrong? The answer is they are all wrong and all right. How can that be, you ask? I’ll tell you.
Just like we are all different as individuals, our families are all different too. Since our families are all different, they have different needs. Those needs cause our families to all look and function differently. Causing our own personal family dynamic. So what one person tells you may be right for them, but all wrong for you.
A blended family could have two single parents, one married parent and one single parent, or maybe there is only one biological parent still in the picture. There could be step siblings, half siblings, both or neither. The family could include grandparents, aunts, uncles or close friends that help out. There are so many possibilities of how your family could look, making your family unique and your circumstances different from other families.
How your family looks and functions may change over time too. As children grow and people change, relationships change too. These changes affect our families and how we do things. It’s all a part of growing together. For example, when two people first get divorced, all the strong emotions involved may prevent them from being able to be around each other so they have to communicate through an app or text messages. As time goes on they heal and can build their lives back up. It may become easier to be around each other. Now you may prefer to communicate in person or through phone calls, or perhaps you still prefer to keep texting to keep each other informed about your children. Maybe over time you can go out to celebrate birthdays and holidays all together. Maybe you never get to the point of being okay around each other for long.
One way is not wrong or another right. We all do what is best for our family and our situations. I can tell you what works for me and maybe it will give you an idea of something to try for your family, but no one can tell you what is best for your family besides you.
So next time someone tries and tells how your blended family should look and function. Tell them thanks for the advice, you’ll take it into consideration, but ultimately you will decide how your family dynamic will work.
